ok hush.

I know i should be feeling pretty upbeat with the current exams being over and such but some part of me just want this to stay. I guess I've learn alot this past few days about endurance, patience, independent and self motivation. I guess this is the only time where i can keep myself away from the outside world and just focus on what I've to do. ok i admit, most of the time, when I'm studying, I'll end up thinking. Thinking on matters that i knew i will never get, like a something or a someone. Everyone knows life is unfair. & who says being me was easy? I've been through alot and all I'm dependent on is myself & everyone, everywhere has been giving me false hope. There is just so much things to accomplish in life & i just wish i could skip all of it and just move on to the part where i have a family to love and care for on my own. Right now, everything that i ever wish for never did come true. Guess it was all in the mind or maybe I'm just too scared. I'm sorry but I'm sick and tired of being alone for 17years. I'm turning 18 soon, so please send me a miracle. I admit, I've been afraid all my life, with myself, my friends and even towards the outside world. & dont even get me started with the whole high-metabolism scene. I feel like a baby who is afraid to take her first step in life as a toddler.