I have always sort of felt this isolation. Even as a little kid I noticed it. I was sort of shy at times, obnoxious at others, but it was always there, this sort of inkling or nudging feeling inside. At one point, I think I was five or six, I had actually convinced myself that life was just one big game of dolls and all the other people around me were dolls, like me, set there to be speed bumps, stop signs, and u-turns in my life so I would not realize that in the end, I was really alone.

It's been that way in all of my relationships no matter how distant no matter how close. I would say that my best friends now are closer to me than any others before or really anybody who has ever come into or walked out of my life but still, there is that barrier there. It's not a barrier I want to break either. Not like you would expect. It's just a barrier. It's always been there. Always will be. It's invisible and weightless and virtually nonexistent but not everything is visible, not everything is heavy, and not everything is virtual is it?

It's just sort of there and it sort of keeps up this partition between me and the rest of the world. It's not something I want to remove but it's not something I don't want to remove either. It's just hard to realize or have anybody that close to you ever. I think it's impossible.

You come into this world on your own. You are in the presence of others, sure, but it's the same as walking into a room full of people by yourself. At that point you are *with* them, but at the same time you are alone in the respect that you just got there.

You come into this world alone and you leave this world alone because you're just getting there at your own pace with people before and after you.